Language is a fundamental part of human communication and culture

It allows us to express our thoughts, feelings, and ideas and to connect with others in meaningful ways. However, the words we use and the way we use them can have a profound impact on our lives and our success.

Many of us have been conditioned to use language that comes from a place of morality. Words like “should,” “must,” and “have to” are often used to impose societal expectations and values onto others. When we use these words, we are not truly applying our minds but rather following the programming that has been instilled in us.

For example, if we say, “I should exercise more,” we are implying that there is a moral imperative to exercise and that we are failing to meet that standard. This language can be demotivating and lead to feelings of guilt or shame. On the other hand, if we say, “I choose to exercise because it makes me feel good,” we are expressing our personal preference and aligning our actions with our values.

When we remove “should,” “must,” and “have to” from our vocabulary, we open up new possibilities and opportunities. Instead of feeling constrained by societal expectations, we can make decisions based on what we truly desire and what aligns with our personal values. When we operate from a place of choice, we become more empowered and confident in our decisions, leading to a greater sense of success and fulfilment in our lives.

Non-verbal “should,” “must,” and “have to”

In addition to our language, our actions can also play a role in perpetuating this sense of morality. When we judge or criticise others, we are operating from the same domain of morality. By comparing others to our own moral standards, we limit our ability to see their true potential and unique qualities. Instead, we can strive to accept others as they are and focus on their strengths and abilities, creating a more positive and supportive environment for everyone.

It’s important to note that eliminating “should,” “must,” and “have to” from our language and actions is not about abandoning responsibility or accountability. Rather, it’s about recognizing that we have the power to make choices and take actions that align with our personal values and goals.

So, how can we put these ideas into practice in our daily lives?

Here are some useful instructions:

  • Practice mindfulness: By becoming more aware of the words we use and the thoughts we think, we can start to shift our language and mindset away from a place of morality and towards one of choice and possibility. Mindfulness practices such as meditation or journaling can help us become more attuned to our thoughts and language.
  • Challenge your beliefs: Take a closer look at the beliefs and values that underpin your actions and decisions. Are they truly aligned with your personal values, or are they simply societal expectations? By challenging these beliefs, you can start to live a life that is more authentic to you.
  • Practice acceptance: Try to accept others as they are, without judgement or criticism. Focus on their strengths and abilities, and seek to create a supportive and positive environment for everyone. This can involve actively listening to others and striving to understand their perspective.
  • Embrace change: By embracing change and uncertainty, we open ourselves up to new opportunities and possibilities. Rather than feeling constrained by societal expectations, we can make choices based on what feels right for us in the moment. This can involve taking risks or trying new things, even if they feel uncomfortable at first.
  • Use positive affirmations: Instead of using negative language that implies a moral imperative, try using positive affirmations that focus on your personal values and desires. For example, instead of saying “I should exercise more,” try saying “I choose to prioritise my health and fitness because it aligns with my values.”

By incorporating these practices into our daily lives, we can start to reclaim our freedom and live a life of choice. By eliminating “should,” “must,” and “have to” from our language and actions, we can create a more positive and empowering environment for ourselves and those around us. Ultimately, this shift in mindset and language can lead to greater success and fulfilment in all areas of our lives.

Change requires time and effort

In addition to these practices, it’s also important to remember that change takes time and effort. It’s unlikely that we’ll be able to completely eliminate morality from our language and actions overnight. However, by starting with small changes and building on our successes, we can gradually shift our mindset and language towards one of choice and empowerment.

One way to start is by paying attention to the language we use when talking about ourselves and others. Are we using language that implies a moral imperative or societal expectation? If so, we can try reframing our language in a more positive and empowering way. For example, instead of saying “I have to go to work,” we can say “I choose to go to work because it aligns with my personal and professional goals.”

Another way to incorporate these practices into our daily lives is by practising self-compassion and self-care. By treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, we can create a more positive and supportive inner dialogue. This can involve practices such as meditation, self-reflection, and setting realistic goals and expectations for ourselves.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the key to success and fulfilment lies in aligning our actions and decisions with our personal values and desires. By eliminating morality from our language and actions, we can start to reclaim our freedom and live a life of choice. With practice and persistence, we can create a more positive and empowering environment for ourselves and those around us, leading to greater success and fulfilment in all areas of our lives.